I feel so bad that I have been NEGLECTING to blog...

I think I am just at peace for the time being. We had Mattie's doc appt and her A1C jumped to 9!!!

YEP, I thought we were going to throw up... The Doc said "Heidi, now don't get all stressed out and go on a war path, this is how it is when PUBERTY sets in. We have lots of highs, and than some lows. It is very unpredictable"

I think Puberty might just be a BAD WORD!!

WELL THEN

What is a mother to do?

We made some changes and are just giving so much more insulin that at first TERRIFIED me.
Mattie is now getting:

Breakfast 1 for every 7 carbs
Lunch/snack 1 for every 10 carbs or 12 depending on the activity.
Dinner/snack 1 for every 10 carbs or 12 depending on the activity.
Bedtime/Lantus 26 units of insulin


OHHH, that is soo much. I was so scared to give her that much, but.... to my AMAZEMENT it was exactly what she needed.

During Puberty, girls produce estrogen and estradoil... so estrogen actually acts as a INSULIN REJECTOR. So, while girls are maturing they are producing so much ESTROGEN that when given insulin... the estrogen levels are so high, insulin doesn't take effect.
Nice to know, that I am not a LOSER, and failing Mattie's diabetes.

So, now we give more insulin so it will take in effect and we just monitor WAY CLOSE how she is reacting. Because, there are times when girls don't produce as much and then we have just given them so much more insulin... and yep

CRASH, BOOM, BANG!!

Mattie's endo will see her now every other month until she starts menstruating, than it is most likely every month. This is just to help regulate her blood sugars. He said this is a whole nother ball game to play.

BRING IT ON. Mattie hasn't quite got to a rebellious stage or denial... so, I am crossing my fingers that she doesn't and just stay focused on the little challenge of PUBERTY.
I am very fortunate to have grown up with a mom who was strong and enduring. Putting up with me as a teenager, she is a SAINT! So, Mattie and I get our strength and courage from her, and we LOVE IT.

Thanks MOM for helping me to be a good mom and a good person, with good values as:
Courage,
Strength,
Determination,
Perseverance,
Control,
Attitude,
LOVE!

I am now just scared of how it's going to be in Jr. High. I know they don't have time nor the memory to babysit her and make sure she is testing when supposed to or making sure she gave insulin.

That is my next challenge, LETTING GO. I know that at some point of this I have to let go just a bit and let her prove to me that she can be responsible for her diabetes.

Any thoughts or does any one know how Jr. High works, or how it is working for you??

Update!!

So yesterday when I got off work around 3:30ish I called Mattie...

YEP... she tested her blood at 3:00 like she was supposed too. She was so proud of herself too, and so was I.

Mattie said " it feel so good when you do the right thing" The rest of the night she was very positive and motivated about her diabetes.

The hardest part for us now, is the PUBERTY....

It has hit and is very strange, no real pattern, so it has been hard to pinpoint a starting point to fix. We are just up testing during the night, and lots of tests during the day.

So far so good, she hasn't had any DENIAL issues, I hear a lot of people say that the kids go through that and they go through it hard. Mattie has faced it head on and just keeps her chin up, and strives forward. I hope this continues, I really don't want to fight with her about it.

I wonder how long it lasts?
I have heard puberty can last for up to 4 years!! Not sure though, her next endocrine appt is in January, and we will see then.

The other thing I have been pondering is,
"Do I give her too much responsibility?"

I am not sure if I give her too much or not enough.... If I give her more now, is it going to be a negative effect or a positive effect..... HMMMM

OOH Mattie

For that last FIVE years,
Mattie has been:

6am Test blood
9am Test blood
12pm Test blood
3pm Test blood
6pm Test blood
8pm Test blood

NONE of these testing times has EVER changed!!!

OOH, by my little Mattie thought that she could pull a fast one on me... HAHA
So, we started back to school on Monday, after Thanksgiving break...
I asked her what her blood sugar was @ 3.... DEAD SILENCE!!! HUH

OK, "Mattie it is important to test @ 3, that way when your walking home from school, you won't DROP!!!"

Mattie " OK, I will do it tomorrow"

Tomorrow came, and again NO TEST @ 3.....
So, this time I said " Mattie you know better, so if you don't test again before you leave from school, you will not have any computer time, cell phone time, or friends!!"

We ALWAYS have friends at our house, so I knew this would KILL HER!! sneaky huh?

SO, Wednesday... " Did you test" DEAD SILENCE AGAIN!!

Yep, I stuck to it!! She couldn't use computer, text ... she was miserable. She pouted all night long, and woos me, " i never get to have anything fun" Mattie asked me to call and remind her to test her blood. I explained to her that when she is at home, dad and I do all her diabetes, reminders, shots, drawing it up, going over numbers.... and the fact that she has already been doing this for years. There is no difference.

I know it must be so hard, it is hard on me to remember all that we have to do with her diabetes, and my own job, and then coming home and dinner, homework... laundry, shopping, cleaning... but Mattie we ALL JUST DO IT!! Being sad isn't going to change the time you test, it's not going to change your pancreas, it WON'T CHANGE ANYTHING. So, I told her have your moment, that is fine.. I don't blame you, but test when your supposed to so you can live a happy long life.

I told her that she is now 11 almost 12, going into Jr. High... and at some point whether she likes it or not,. she will have to be MORE RESPONSIBLE for her diabetes. I will ALWAYS be there and can help, but.. ultimately as a parent.. it is my job to teach her, and guide her.

Cute Mattie woke up this morning a bit high.. and she said,
"Well here is to another day, and I am lucky to have this day." OOHH I love her!!

I did threaten her too, I told her that if I had to quit my job, sell our house and follow her around school ALL DAY LONG, that I would in a heart beat. Just to make sure she is healthy. I get this umph from my mom!!

K, bye for now!! :)

I feel like I have been lost!

Well, wow it is now December and X-MAS is just around the corner. I hope every one is enjoying the holidays.

We are, Mattie left on 11-20 to see her dad in Texas... Yep, I cried when she left on the plane..

She did good though, she tested before she got on and was 176.. PERFECT for flying. Then when she got off she was 218... not too bad.

Mattie spent a week with her dad and step mom and three little sisters. Lots of fun and playing. They did OK with her blood sugars, I feel that her step mom just doesn't think its a big deal.

On Thanksgiving Day Mattie feel off a GO Cart.. (Mattie is clumsy) and she fractured her wrist. Her dad called and told me, and I explained to him that she will spill Ketones and have high sugars. he said " well she is already been way high, so it will be OK"
Then her step mom said "why are you having all these highs"
Mattie said " well, anytime I have trauma to my body my sugars spike"
her step mom says " Mattie, your fracture has nothing to do with your blood sugars"

REALLY???? and you would know this HOW? UUUMMM HELLO!!!

It drives me absolutely BATTY when people say things like this. They do not do nor KNOW the things Mattie and I do. Mattie is SO AMAZING, and so smart.. she counts her own carbs, she has given her self her own shots since she was 6... she KNOWS how her body is acting, and what it will do.

Oh, well.. it's over and done with. One day I will get my chance to explain to them.

Mattie came home on 11-26 and I have her blood sugars back down to normal and things are going pretty good for her. I have to take her back in to have her wrist looked at.. I should have asked her dad to get me the paper work and x-rays... but, DUH I forgot.

It is still pretty swollen and sore, so we will check it out.

I want more than anything for Mattie to have a relationship with her dad and his family, but I don't want to share at the same time. UUGHHH

Other than that, we are doing good and getting ready for Santa to come to our house... and Santa is behind schedule... as always.

Oh Brohlen!

This cute little guy is Brohlen... aka Dennis the Menace!!

Brohlen just turned 4, and is full of life, he is cuddly and yet so independent.

Last night, we had Mattie's parent teacher conference, and she is doing great, her teacher said she is being very responsible with her diabetes and testing when she is supposed too.. YEAH Mattie!

Right after that all of us needed a hair cut, so dad, me, Mattie and Brohlen went and go our hair cut and then had to run to the grocery store... so it was getting late and we Mattie was @ 138 so we decided to get a quick hamburger and go home.

We got home and Mattie gave insulin while Brohlen was still dragging his feet to come in the house. While he is walking in the door, Mattie is taking a bite of her food, and he SCREAMS and starts crying, running to her..

I said "what is wrong"

Brohlen "Mattie didn't give a shot, and this is going to make her sick"

Me "Mattie gave a shot, and she will be fine, it's OK"

Brohlen "will she die?"

That made me sad, I hope Mattie doesn't think that. Kev and I had a talk with him and just explained that as a family we help Mattie give shots, test her blood and love her.. and that way Mattie will be just fine. He was good with that and on to the next big thing in his little life..

DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

This is why Diabetes Awareness is so important! People need to be educated, and not AFRAID. People with diabetes shouldn't be afraid, nor embarrassed about who they are or what they need to do to take care of their lives. I am glad that I am a part of all this, and that my children have experiences with diabetes. Mattie is just the same, but eats a tad different then some!

Dexcom, Is it worth it?

I was really wanting to try the DexCom, or the Seven Plus...

But, I am a little hesitant. I am not sure if it REALLY is worth the money.

I know when it comes to diabetes, MONEY shouldn't be an issue, nor should the trouble!!

So, I want to hear from diabetics/parents who have this or who tried it.. I really think that this would be a good thing for Mattie now, since she is as she says "Pre Teen" that means she can be mouthy, without getting into trouble. So she thinks !!

Mattie is experiencing highs, and then some real quick lows, and when she gets below 100 then she can trigger into epileptic seizures. Hopefully it can help her through this PUBERTY period.

So, PLEASE any ideas welcome!!

Oh, I am so thankful to have ALL of you for support and encouragement DAILY!!

Diabetes

It's now November and every one is making Thanksgiving plans, and hopefully being THANKFUL!!

There is so much in our daily lives to be thankful for, but I am going to have to say In a way I am Thankful for DIABETES!

I know, have I fallen and hit my head lately, or did some one pinch me to say this...

NO, diabetes has changed my life and not for the worse.

True, it has made some things difficult,
* Always testing
* Always worrying
* Stressful
* heartbreaking
* Sleepless nights
* Takes more time to get ready to eat
* Watching what they eat
* School
* Ketones
* Attitude
* Who they go with
* What babysitters they can have
* MONEY

With all these being said;
You would wonder why any one would be THANKFUL...

At the same time it has;
* Made Mattie stronger
* Kev and I stronger
* Our family closer
* Knowledge
* Hopeful
* Faith
* Healthy eating habits
* Friends
* Great support groups
* Fun camps
* They can live full and happy lives
* Cool bags to put supplies in
* Were ALIVE

I know that every one in life is faced with different challenges, and we ALL have some sort of obstacle we face. Mattie is a DIABETIC and EPILEPTIC. That's just how it is and we are taking the bull by the horns and showing it how its done.

I thank her everyday for her courage, and her bravery. I wouldn't want to give my self a shot 10 times a day, test a BILLION times a day. Mattie goes to the best school, and ALL the kids look after her, and she has taught them so much, about life and strength, and attitude.

Don't get me wrong, I have my TEMPER TANTRUM days, but with out ALL this in our lives;

WHO WOULD WE BE?